So Sorry for Your Loss- How I Learned to Live with Grief, and Other Grave Concerns by Dina Gachman
$17.99
Product details
Web ID: 168361992 years ago
from Lincoln, NE
A Practical Guide to Handling Grief
One universal outcome of the recent pandemic is a new realization that everyone is suffering some form of grief, whether a collective grief (a real type, discussed in the book) over the vast loss of life, or an individual grief from the loss of a loved one to the virus. So this was an important book to read, for all of us. But as each "unhappy family is unhappy in its own way," (thank you, Mr. Tolstoy) each person's grief can look different from the next person's. And that's OK. "So Sorry for Your Loss..." addresses various types of grief and its "stages" (you really feel them all at once, or at different times, or in different progressions -- and it's perfectly OK to grieve for pets like people). I underlined so much and placed so many book darts that were so true that I will only share a few. One excellent page listed "not helpful" versus "helpful" things to say to a freshly-grieving person. Please, PLEASE NEVER SAY: "They aren't suffering any more" or the one that caused me personally to explode at a sister-in-law "They are in a better place." p. 17. NEVER SAY THESE THINGS. There is also a list of "Potential Firsts that may trigger GIEA's" (grief-induced emotional avalanches) p. 29, such as a loved one's first birthday after dying, holidays, etc. Being forewarned still doesn't prepare one for the emotional avalanche, FYI. I will end w/ this thought: "...over time, me relationship with each of them (mother and sister) would not end, but that it would evolve, and I would adapt and find ways to keep them in my life. I have no control over what has happened, so instead of waiting for some imaginary day when I'll find 'closure,' I ultimately accepted that my love for them, my grief, would become part of me, instead of something I had to conquer." p. 3. This is my lived experience, also. I'm glad I read this book. I'm also glad I didn't read it closer to losing my daughter, and then my favorite nephew exactly her age, within eighteen months of each other. I sobbed enough reading this. I couldn't have handled it then. 5 stars.
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Customer review from barnesandnoble.com
2 years ago
from Grand Prairie, TX
Profound exploration love, loss, and grieving.
“So Sorry For Your Loss” by author Dina Gachman tells her heart-wrenching story and walks the reader through the minefield of emotions leading up to and the aftermath of two deaths in her family. She had my attention from the very start with her receiving news of her sister’s death, and I was with her on her journey until the final page (and after). Having been involved as a caregiver in a hospice situation (that almost reads like “hostage” situation and may be amazingly appropriate), I can attest to the accuracy and overwhelming shock of the experience. Her vivid descriptions of what she and her sisters encountered, with the multitude of providers involved, matched up so closely with what we went through: none of which made this particular end-of-life choice a positive leave-taking. As the chapter title said, it was a difficult and long goodbye: exhausting and so emotionally draining that now, I still feel it two years down the road. Dana’s story brought so much of that time back, but not in a painful way. I was grateful to the author for sharing her story. I needed to hear that someone else had gone through a similar experience. I could relate. With her natural manner of storytelling and needed to be shared experiences, I recommend “SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS” to readers of nonfiction, especially those needing to explore or feel a connection to another who has experienced grief and bereavement. I voluntarily reviewed this after receiving an Advanced Review Copy from the author through "Lone Star Book Blog Tours."
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Customer review from barnesandnoble.com
2 years ago
from Austin, TX
Written with heart and honesty.
I have to say "So Sorry for your Loss" made a profound impact on me. As someone who has experienced loss, I found myself nodding along to so much of what Dina shared about her journey through grief. So much of her story was my story and as I kept marking passages, I realized that I too was a member of this “crappy club”. Dina's writing is raw and honest, and she doesn't shy away from exploring the difficult emotions that come with grief. She shares her own experiences with vulnerability and bravery, and her words will resonate with anyone who has ever lost a loved one. As I turned the pages, I felt like I was right there with Dina, navigating the twists and turns of her journey and retracing my own paths and emotions. Her writing is so vivid it's almost like she's speaking directly to you. One of the things I loved most about this book is how it captures the complexity of grief. Dina doesn't try to sugarcoat the pain or pretend that everything was perfect, but she also doesn't dwell on the negative. Instead, she shows how grief can be a transformative experience that teaches us about love, resilience, and the power of the human spirit. That it’s ok to laugh at the absurdity of some of the situations surrounding death. Overall, "So Sorry for your Loss" is a beautiful and moving book that I highly recommend to anyone who has experienced loss or grief. Dina Gachman's writing is both powerful and comforting, and her story is a testament to the enduring power of love and hope.
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Customer review from barnesandnoble.com
2 years ago
from El Paso, TX
Fantastic and much needed read
When I was given the opportunity to read and review So Sorry for Your Loss by Dina Gachman, I jumped at the chance. On one hand, ever since I was in my practicum training for my graduate degree in clinical psychology, I have been interested in the subject of grief. I remember meeting with college age students who were currently going through the grief process and wanting to plead with them to take their time in missing and grieving their person. Grief is such a complicated process. In 2021, the concept of grief took on a whole new meaning for me since I sadly and horribly lost my sister to complications from Covid. Since then, grief suddenly became this tangible thing. I could feel it. Sometimes it is at the forefront of my mind and other times it's a blanket veil at the back of my mind - regardless, it is always there. What I gained from So Sorry for Your Loss was the introspection of another person who has gone through their own loss and explore all those inner thoughts that creep into the conciousness of those of us left behind. "They’re gone, and I, like so many others, live with those losses every single day." Truer words have never been spoken. This book is great for everyone to read, however, it is truly best for someone who has gone through a loss to read. What Gachman's book did for me was give me the sense that I am not alone in my grief - that I am not the only one who feels this pain of loss every day in one form or another. There are many quotes I could get from Gachman's book - I was underlining so much as I read. This is truly a work that can can provide much comfort to someone who is grieving or needs to let themselves grieve. Such important work, and I thank Gachman for writing it.
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Customer review from barnesandnoble.com