Men Have Called Her Crazy: A Memoir by Anna Marie Tendler
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Web ID: 20312261Hard to relate to
I am having a hard time rating this book. I know nothing of Anna Marie Tendler but what I read here. I know nothing of her ex husband. Found out who he was after the fact. Doesn't really matter though. Doesn't change my opinion. I went into this book thinking I would find a story of a woman who battled mental illness (found this), and how she grew from her experiences (did NOT find this). I am not rating this on her experiences. No one should do that. Most of what happened to her is real hard stuff. What I found even harder to read is someone who wants help but rejects it in almost every form, especially from men. Period. And finds herself the only victim with an astoundling level of rage towards the opposite sex that is hard to relate to even coming close to understanding. She tells her story in a way that is very detached from any type of ownership on her part. Self awareness is a hard part of the growing process. She's on her way by getting help that she clearly needs, but she still has a journey to unfold, and I hope that at some point in that journey she stops looking at how everyone else has wronged her, which let's be honest, did happen, and how she, and she alone, has ownership over her choices moving forward. Mental health is a real thing, and while I want the best for her, I feel like there's still lots of unhealthiness left. *I received a copy of this book from NetGalley. This review is my own opinion*
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Customer review from barnesandnoble.com
Not About John Mulaney (Hooray!)
If you go into this book hoping that you’ll get the scoop on author Anna Marie Tendler’s marriage to (and subsequent divorce from) comedian John Mulaney, you’ll be sorely disappointed. I’ll be honest – I picked up this book hoping that is what I’d be getting! But it is so much better than the tea spilling celebrity (or celebrity adjacent) memoir you might have gone looking for. Artist Anna Marie Tendler tells the story of her 2021 stay in a psychiatric hospital, her relationship history that contributed to her distrust of men, and her journey through a lifetime of anxiety and depression. She also writes quite a bit about her relationship with her dog Petunia which will probably feel relatable for many single pet owners. Tendler’s story is exceptionally well written (and digestible – I read it in less than 24 hours, despite the heavy nature of the content) and readers will really find themselves rooting for her healing and success (and wishing the same for her fellow patients at the psychiatric hospital). This was definitely one of my top reads of 2024 and I hope Tendler will write more in the future.
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Customer review from barnesandnoble.com
Poetic Memoir
Anna Marie Tendler's words still stick with me even months after finishing her memoir. She is an artist in every sense, crafting beautiful imagery in the readers mind, such as when she describes her friend playing violin, and tragic imagery in her suicidal ideation. There is a temptation to read this book as if it were a tell-all of her relationship with John Mulaney, but it is not. In the words of Maggie Smith, it is a "tell mine". She is telling her story, and at the same time reclaiming her story. In getting to know Anna, we get to know why she deserves stability and happiness. I recommend this memoir to anyone with friends, anyone who is a woman, and anyone who has suffered. I loved this book!
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Customer review from barnesandnoble.com
A raw account of a complicated life
I was initially drawn to this memoir by the title -- Men Have Called Her Crazy -- why did Anna Marie Tendler feel that men saw her this way? Anna did have a complicated relationship with men throughout her life, but she also had a difficult and complicated relationship with her mother, which seemed to color a lot of her growing-up years. Beginning with Anna's stay at a psychiatric hospital for depression, self-harm, and anxiety, her story pivots back and forth between the present and her past -- giving readers a clearer insight into what brought her to the hospital. Her writing is brutally honest and insightful, but throughout the book, I kept wondering about her intense dislike (dare I say, hatred?) of men and yet this magnetic pull toward them. She briefly mentions a marriage and divorce, but offers no more details, which I found odd -- providing virtually no information about this ex-spouse was lacking in my opinion. Overall, Anna Marie Tendler lays herself bare in this book, and I applaud her courage to do so. An insightful read into the life of one woman who decides to overcome the demons that she lived with for so long.
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Customer review from barnesandnoble.com
Men have called her crazy
The impact of the book cannot be overstated. I feel that Ms Tendler has reached that beautiful harmony of true and pure vulnerability coupled with a willingness to put herself out there despite the anxiety that accompanies vulnerability. It is clear this woman is a fighter. Personally, I had forgotten how life changing it can be to read a book that feels like it was meant to find you. A book that speaks directly to the issues you are facing. Thank you for writing this.
Customer review from barnesandnoble.com
A Courageous Memoir of Mental Health & Misogyny
There are a slew of recent books on divorce and abuse paradigms, including Leslie Jamison’s “Splinters,” Miranda July’s “All Fours,” and Sarah Manguso’s “Liars.” Multimedia artist Anna Marie Tendler also has a problem with men claiming that she has “a sort of photographic memory for the ways men have asserted their power over me, the ways they have treated me poorly, and the ways I have fought to be equal or conversely sublimated myself to keep peace.” Tendler’s issues with men are significant enough that when she voluntarily checked herself into an inpatient psychiatric facility in 2021 at the recommendation of her therapist, she requests that she be housed with women only despite the fact that such segregated housing was intended for recovering addicts. Tendler, however, suffered from depression, self-harm (cutting which began in her teens), and disordered eating. Tendler explains that she had stopped cutting for over a decade, but immediately before she checked into the psychiatric hospital, she is cutting with more frequency than at any point in her life, blaming her destructive behavior on a failing marriage. “My marriage was falling apart, and the more I tried to hold on, the faster it seemed to slip away.” She writes that “I thought I was losing my grip on reality. Thoughts of death and wanting to die consumed me.’ Tendler details the two weeks she spent at a psychiatric hospital. The chapters about her time at the hospital are interspersed with chapters about her relationships with former boyfriends who betrayed her in subtle but significant ways – from high school beaus who did not reciprocate her affection, to the 29-year-old musician to whom she lost her virginity at 17, to the tone deaf millionaire tech bro she took up with when she was working as an $8-an-hour shampoo girl at a hair salon who did not consider how their financial disparity made Tendler feel insubordinate to his power. Tendler writes with a breezy, conversational tone about serious topics, but the memoir omits what would seem to be significant facts about the men who were the source of her trauma. Tendler says almost nothing about her marriage to the comedian John Mulaney who had checked himself into rehab for addiction in late 2020 and then, according to a statement issued by Tendler in May 2021, “decided to end our marriage.” Within weeks, Mulaney was linked to the actor Olivia Munn with whom he had a child and then married. Tendler concedes that her financial situation “has always been precarious,” and made stable only by her romantic partners. She does not explain how she is able to afford a swank psychiatric hospital that offers its patients yoga, horticulture therapy, jewelry making, movement therapy, meditation, acupuncture and massages, nor does she disclose how, when she was discharged she is able to afford such frivolous expenses as consultations with an animal communicator to better understand her dog when Tendler was making lampshades. Tendler has written an intimate and courageous book that holds the reader’s interest, but she omits what must be central to her rage at men — her breakup with Mulaney. I would guess that Mulaney has provided financial support in consideration of which Tendler has signed a non-disclosure agreement. Regardless, you cannot finish Tendler’s memoir without wishing her well. Thank you Simon & Schuster and Net Galley for an advanced copy of this raw memoir.
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Customer review from barnesandnoble.com
Very readable memoir
Blessings on Anna Marie Tendler for being able to express her anxiety and depression in a such a readable memoir. I read through this book in record time. I empathized with her. I was cheering for her and her steps in recovery. I wish her the best in her life now and in the future as she continues to deal with the men in her life and her emotional issues. Thanks to NetGalley for allowing me to read and review Men Have Called Her Crazy.
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Customer review from barnesandnoble.com
Fantastic Memoir
As someone who has a very similar way of thinking (anxiety wise), I found this book extremely comforting.
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Customer review from barnesandnoble.com